Grasping Something Deeper

 When did we start normalizing negativity when we talk about kids and their entrances into our lives? 

I think this is something that is done subconsciously at this point. Words of advice from people are often about how you can soak up something you have now, before it ends with kids entrances in your life. 

What about the amount of couples who are wishing they could ditch all the things they have now just to be able to hold their own baby? 

We talk like these entrances of joy, chaos, comic relief, mess warriors, and young learning souls are going to make our current lives so inconvenient or like we are going to miss all we could do in the days before they arrived. 

Again, I think this is something that’s become accidentally normalized without even realizing it - like feeling good that we can all share in the same struggle with each other, but continue to leave it to hang as a negative to newbies around - or even to the peers around. Instead of encouragement, negativity is spoken. 

While I don’t have my own kids currently running out in the open (plenty of running going on in the womb right now), growing up with siblings and nannying little ones and helping out with others has shown me that some of the biggest places of healing are when you’re surrounded by children. The biggest moments of gain are found there, you learn more about Jesus’ heart for children by watching the awe they have of the world and the questions they ask about Him. 

Because they see the big picture and they laugh and cry as readily as at the drop of a pen. I remember days where I went home and my feet were aching and yet feeling so full of the moments from the day (yes, I had a clock out time, and yes I know that won’t be the case soon - but why are we negatizing it? Can we be realistic that it’s hard but that  it’s hard for a good reason? Because they’re the biggest treasures we could be caring for?). I know so many days will be mundane and there will be hard days - or hard moments, it doesn’t have to define the whole day, as I tell myself now. 

It’s a difficult balance. Because when you are struggling with things, often you need people to listen and not just sit down and tell you that you simply need to be grateful. You can be grateful and also struggling. 

But why are we talking to new parents like “oh boy, better enjoy ___ now!!” or, “Just wait - it gets harder!!” 

When we were taking our birth class, talking about the difficulty of labor, our teacher used a phrase (paraphrasing her heavily), “Yes, it’s hard and it’s going to be painful, but can you really skip the journey and jump straight to the reward? Isn’t it far more rewarding to go through that so you can come out with the prize?” 

I know there are a lot of hard lessons I’m going to learn - about myself, about God’s grace, about the independent mind of the child that’s waiting to come out of me, about working in marriage to raise godly children, and of course, all those hard steps we don’t see. But who are we as Christians if we face it all as a negative or taking away what we have now - because that’s what life is, giving up of ourselves and grasping something deeper. And the reward is great.