For the Mama Grappling With her Destroyed Birth Plan

 To the mama whose birth story left her grappling with reality...

To the mama whose birth story was the last thing she pictured and  the last thing she thought she was prepping for…

To the mama who is surrounded by others saying “if you just do these following things, and prepare accurately, your birth could be just like my amazing experience was”!

To the mama who got an epidural and felt guilty about it…

To the mama who had a c-section and was made to feel weak because of it

To the mama who has trauma from her birth experience and cannot handle others stories

You're actually so so strong

You prioritized your baby's life 

And considered your own human state and limits

You can prepare the best you can and be educated (nothing is wrong with that) and I truly hope many can have those good experiences 

But you are not responsible for how your labor destroys your birth plan

And it's wrong that you were made to feel guilty when you had to use other means to help your baby get out, alive, and you alive as well. 

Recovering from the trauma of labor is not fast and it's a silent journey. 

And feeling like you have to advocate for why you couldn't be “strong enough to stick it through” …is wrong. You knew when the limit was hit and sticking it through without help meant something drastic and possibly more damaging. 

You cannot control how your body handles birth. 

And if we can stop beating ourselves up mentally with the trauma and the shock of how it happened,  we can heal and prepare for the future in better ways. 

And if you bristle or hurt or cannot cope with how it went when someone is talking about theirs and everything they did to make it go so well… give yourself some space and grace to heal and remember the very fact that you prioritized your baby's safety and knew your limits, is beautiful and strong as well 🫶